A Good Year

The first snows have fallen in the mountains. The gardening season is officially over.

The highlight of the season was the new deck that John built. It is made of Port Orford Cedar with a spruce pergola and arbor. He also rebuilt the deck and the planters on the foot bridge over the stream.

One of the things I have tried to do in my yard is highlight the areas I see the most, be it the first thing I see when I drive into the driveway or the view out the windows at the back of the house.

The view out the window from the kitchen table of the new deck and back yard. 

John and I sit at the kitchen table and watch the humming birds and the occasional deer (boo, hiss.) At times it seems like we can almost see the plants grow.

The humming birds seemed to like the flowers right next to the feeder. They would flit from one to the other,
drinking from both.

John custom made the planters on the bridge to stabilize the railing and to fit my self watering pots. As usual he managed to envision and build something wonderful.

My gladiolas are in a bed that I don't see from a window in the house. Often the stems are broken and and the blossoms torn and ragged before I remember to cut them. This year I remembered to cut them at their peak. My mother never liked glads because they reminded her of funerals, especially her father's. But I have come to appreciate the perfection of their blooms.

I saw Cinderella pumpkins at the Farmer's Market a few years ago and loved their shape and color. I finally found some seeds and grew some. They made me smile. I also tried several new tomato varieties. Lemon tomatoes (too mushy), pineapple tomatoes (a keeper, sweet, big and great on BLTs) and Margarita tomatoes (a good, large plum that were great for salsa, marinara and chili sauce.) I still don't like zucchini, but John does so I will only plant 1 next year in stead of two. (I know what was I thinking?) But I do like peaches and our five trees gave us fresh peaches from August to the end of September as well as plenty for smoothies this winter.  All in all a good year.

In the Middle

I was sitting in church the other day watching all the moms with their kids. Babies, toddlers, Tweens, adolescents and teens. It took me back to when I was that mom. The new mom, just a little unsure of her  mothering  skills. The mom with her 4th baby, confident, loving and relaxed. The mom who at times got so frustrated with her kids she could scream, or cry or both. The mom who loved being a mom to her teenagers.  The mom who watched her children grow up and move away for missions, schools, marriages and jobs.

These mothers in our ward  are in auxiliary presidencies, teach primary, young womens, and Sunday school. They carpool, work, chauffeur, clean, cook and referee. They are confident young women able to do just about what ever needs to be done. They are the same ages as my daughter and daughters in law who are doing the same things where they live. 

It is sometimes hard to remember that I had 4 children before I turned 30, moved around the country for John's job, endured financial ups and doens, was Relief Society President at 36, and graduated from collage at 40.  Whenever I see a young mother get called to a new calling or have babies close together, or go back to school I think how hard it will be for them forgetting I did the same thing.

It has been interesting to pass this title of "mom" to the next generation. Don't get me wrong, I am still a mother to four fabulous kids. But I am no longer a full time, child rearing, down and dirty mom. I'm an empty nester, a grandmother ----- middle aged. 

Middle age is not a misnomer. We are between the next generation of "moms" and our aging parents. I have found it much easier to watch my children become parents than watch my parents get old. 

Dad has been in the assisted living care center for almost two months now. It almost made me cry when the activities director said dad had a good day because he could stack blocks onto a stick. I was so pleased to hear him say " there's Beth Ann" when mom walked by last week. He hasn't called her by name for a while. But he still smiles when he sees us. Mom cried when dad tried to sigh his name for a VA form then tried to wipe it out when it was just scribbles. One day while we were visiting there was a man singing and playing Wille Nelson and Johnny Cash country western songs on the guitar for the residents. Dad was standing next to a care giver and mom took dad's hands and they started to dance. Mom was singing and dad was smiling as they swayed. I did cry then.

John's mother Martha is aging in a completely different way. She is 88 years old and is quite frail due to cronic pain, repeat infections and heart problems. I am almost afraid to hug her because she is getting so thin. She has been living with Rachel, John's sister for a couple of months but is determined to go home. She can't go home unless she gets stronger so she tries to convince everyone how well she is doing. When the home health nurse comes in she tries to act strong and won't admit to any pain.the other day the whole family was at Rachel's house. Rachel asked her if she felt like coming out for dinner. mom asked "Who's here?" Rachel said "Everyone." Martha said "Then I'm fine!"  She keeps saying "I don't want to be a burden, and I don't want to lose my mind." Her stoic southern roots  are showing through. 

But she is starting to get more and more confused and the Doctor told her last Friday that she could either stay with Rachel or go to a nursing home, it is no longer  safe for her to stay at home alone. And just today we got a phone call that she is back in the hospital because her chest hurt and she had a hard time breathing.  It wasn't a heart attack, but they will do more tests tomorrow. 

Note: Martha's tests showed a blockage where she had the heart attack last year. The Dr (cardiologist) said she could either have an angioplasty to see if a stent is need or try and control her heart pain and rate with medicines. He was very good, looked straight at her, not at Rachel or me and asked her what she wanted.  He said he knew she might be ready to see David and would not do anything she didn't want. It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut and not say " Are you kidding, an angioplasty when she is as frail as she is!"  Luckily I did and Martha made her own choice:  she would try the meds, she really didn't want another procedure and was not afraid to die. When she asked me what I thought, I was happy I could agree with her with out holding back my opinions. 

Why does it have to be so hard?

Labor Day Weekend 2013

We went on our annual Labor Day weekend to run the Snake River below Jackson's Hole again this year and I think it was one of the best ones yet. Admittedly I have a very short memory, but the weather was in the mid 80s except for the last day, the campground was beautiful and the company was great. Annie , her old room mate Trisha, and Thomas and Monica came up as well as Brett and Kerri, Mekenna, Cade and Tailor, sister Ann, Shelley and even Mom came up (she and Shelley stayed in a hotel in Alpine.) Not to mention 3 dogs.

We camped at the Big Elk Creek Campground across from the Palisades Reservoir, which was extremely low due to the drought this year, scarily so. There were acres and acres of dry land where the water should be. But the campground was beautiful, unfortunately, there were tons of flies, a long as you kept swatting they weren't too bad.

Big Elk Creek, thanks Monica for the picture

We did 5 river runs in 2 1/2 days, including a sunsest cruise and a 8:00 am float. I went on every one, which was a first. Usually I sit one or two out but I haven't been on the river this year and wanted to be with John, Annie, Thomas and Monica.

Rope Rapid is John's favorite!

Annie's little yellow boat was a lot of fun, even Cade and Mckenna wanted a turn

Both Ann and Thomas kayaked without taking a swim, we were impressed.

It rained on our last early morning run, but it wouldn't be a river trip without rain.
I rowed to keep warm, but it wasn't pretty.
.

The highlight of the trip was to watch the next generation take charge on the river. Thomas, Mckenna and Cade have all been guides for river companies and Annie has her own boat. They took over loading and unloading and rigging the boats as well as wanting time on the oars. John and Brett just backed off and let them do it. Part of them were grateful for the help, but they were also a little surprised. But they shouldn't be, they both went out of their way to teach our children how to read the river and row on river trips. Brett and John never said a word about less oar time,or complained about mistakes made. Even though it made Kerri and me more than a little anxious being in the raft as our inexperienced teenagers rowed through a rapid Brett and John still let the kids row. How smart they were. And the best part is, our children still like to play with us.