Old Memories

We were at Martha's condo last weekend and I found a scrapbook she had made of pictures she and dad had taken of our family and pictures we had sent them. What great old memories she had saved for us.

This picture was taken while John and I were engaged in 1977. I think the dress I wore was Jayne's, it was pretty trendy for the time. I know 70's fashions are coming back in style, but we can always hope polyester, bell bottoms pants do not. John used to blow dry his hair, another 70's fashion statement and I had the Farrah Fawset hair down pat.

 

 It was nice to find this sweet picture of me with Martha holding baby Matt, taken in 1978. We both looked pretty young.

Look at those cute chubby little cheeks on Matt and Chris right after we moved to Houston for the first in time in 1981 when John worked for Conoco.

 

 

 



I think this picture was taken in the Lingard's back yard before we moved to Delaware in 1983. We always started long car trips from their house because it was an hour further south than my parents house in Layton. I love the old used station wagon we had with the Kirkham's canvas luggage carrier on top.

 

 

 On the back of this picture I wrote: "Standing in front of our new house in Houston, September, 1986". Matt was 9, Chris was 7, Annie was 4 and Thomas was almost 1.

 



 

And this great picture. was taken in the back of our first Suburban in 1987, the first of many Chevy people and gear haulers we owned.

 

 

It is hard to realize that I now have grandchildren the same age as my children were when these pictures were taken.

 

I am so grateful for for these memories this Thanksgiving week. What a blessing. 



Mouring But Not Grieving

Martha's funeral week is over. We didn't have the funeral until Friday to give those who lived out of state time to get here and not have to take too much time off work. The best part of the whole week was everyone who came back for the funeral. Carlos was here when Mom Lingard died and stayed with us the entire week rather than go home and come back for the funeral. All nine of her children and most of her 44 grandchildren and many of her 71 great grandchildren were there. Justin and Sarah's baby, Martha's 72nd great grandbaby was born the night of the funeral.

I was thrilled that Matt and Chris both made it. Erin and Megan  insisted their husbands' come even though they could not. John and I both appreciated their thoughtfulness.

We ran into Kerri at Costco after picking up Matt and Chris from the airport and she insisted on taking this picture.

The night of the viewing was like a great big family reunion. Cousins who had not seen each other for years joyfully greeted each other. Aunts and uncles felt just a little bit older when we saw our grown up nieces and nephews with their own children. Matt later said that he felt that the viewing and funeral was for Grandma's children, but it was also a celebration for the grandchildren to get together. 

I was also very touched that all my brothers and sisters and Mom came to the viewing, Jayne came up especially for the funeral and Stacey was here for Erin's new baby Fields. They are such a great family! And we are not all together that often. 

Mom wanted a pictures of her daughters all together (and dressed up.) Too bad Melanie came later.

The funeral was lovely, Marianne, Paul and Rob spoke. John dedicated the grave. Martha's Holladay ward's Relief Society did a fabulous luncheon after the funeral. We got some great pictures of the family.

I know Mom Lingard would be thrilled that her family was together. We were mourning the loss of our dear mother and grandmother, but I don't think we were grieving. She lived a long full life and was ready to join her beloved David. And we celebrated her reunion. 

One of the last things we did before Matt and Chris left was visit my dad. It was something they both wanted to do. I was horrified at how bad Dad looked, but was glad we all went.

We will have to wait for the celebration of his life. 

Martha Mary Luton Lingard: March 23, 1925 to November 7, 2013

John's mother, my dear mother-in-law, passed away last Thursday. She had been failing for a few weeks and we knew the end was close. It many ways it was a relief, but it is sad to know she is no longer with us. She was 88 years old.

The first time time she met me she wrote in her journal, "I hope she doesn't break John's heart." She knew there was something special going on before we did. Or at least I did. I have to admit I was a little overwhelmed to be dating some one who had 8 siblings and 4 or 5 ready made nieces and nephews.

Mom and Dad Lingard at our wedding

Martha's white hair, southern charm and soft spoken voice instantly endeared her to me. She told me that with six sons that she decided she would look for the good in her daughters-in-law and try not to say anything negative about them. Good advice that I have tried to emulate. A few days before she died, Rachel and I helped her get ready for bed because she was too weak to do it for herself. The last thing mom said to me as I kissed her good night was "I have always loved you like a daughter." I kissed her again and answered "I love you too. When my friends used to complain about their mothers-in-law I never had anything to say. You were always good to me. Thank you." It was the last conversation we had. 

She had many sayings that came from her southern roots. She told me "nothing that ends seems long" when I was pregnant with Matt. I said to myself  "What do you mean pregnancy doesn't seem long. I will be pregnant forever!"  She used to ask her children "If not me, who; if not now, when?" when they had chores to do. Also "many hands make like work" and, with a southern drawl, "work from you cane until you canen't". Translated to "work as soon as you can see the sun until you can't."

Martha with John and me last Thanksgiving.

 Martha loved doing things for others and served every one around her. If I could do anything over again I would let her do more things for me. When ever she came to dinner or stay with us I made sure every thing was perfect and there was nothing for her to do. I felt I could do it all and would seem incompetent if I didn't. I was too proud to let her serve me. I apologized a few years ago for not being a better daughter- in-law. I told her I wished I had been more aware of her feelings. Of course she said that I was perfect, but I knew better.

with Annie

with Thomas

with Paul, Molly and baby Paul

                               

with Lily


It is a comfort and blessing to know that Martha had loved ones waiting for her on the other side. The veil was very thin the last few days before she died. I know that Dad was waiting for her with open arms. I can picture the smile on his face as she walked into his embrace. I loved you both. Thanks for being John's parents.