It's Just a Material Thing

John and I went to Martha's condo with his siblings to divide up her things.  There wasn't anything left of great worth, just sentimental "mementos" as Craig called them. Martha didn't place a lot of value on material things. I heard her say many times "It's just a material thing, don't worry about it." when one of the grandchildren broke something. With nine children and 44 grandchildren she did not or could not worry about things if they got lost or broken.

The top three and the middle three as John calls his siblings. The bottom three weren't born yet. Which one is John?

There were many things she treasured that were chipped or broken and glued back together: a flow blue plate, old china from her grandmama's house, nick knacks given to her by her children through the years, even a pretty little vase that she turned so the the broken side didn't show. She had a pretty brown transfer ware gravy boat that I always loved and John asked for it. When we got it home I noticed that the bottom of the handle was broken of but it didn't stop her from enjoying and using it. When I first noticed the handle was broken I was disappointed, but then remembered Martha saying "It's just a material thing," and decided to  use and enjoy it like she did.

A few of Mom Lingard's things we inherited. They are on an old library table that had been promised to John years ago. 

Dad and Mom Lingard had already given away a lot of things to their children, especially antiques they inherited from dad's Uncle Albert and Aunt Annie, so there were not many things of value left, just things of sentimental value.We brought home her old oak recipe box filled recipe cards in her small boxy handwriting, old news paper clippings and blue printed mimeographed recipes from Relief Society. There is a mini history of Martha in that old box, that gives me a glimpse of what interested her in the kitchen. There were at least a dozen recipes for breakfast casserole, when I asked John and his sisters if their mother liked it, they just shrugged and said "meh, she must have." Obviously it wasn't a favorite of theirs. She must have been searching for a recipe her family liked better. 

I love this undated  picture of Mom and Dad. It looks like from the late 60s when mom was collecting her recipes.

We also found all of the family calendars Marianne and I had made over the years. The first one was dated 1990. I remember asking John's sibling to send me actual photographs that I glued onto to a very pixelated calendar that I printed out onto card-stock.  It was very crude by today's internet programs. But there are some great pictures of the aunts and uncles and Lingard cousins as they were growing up. It's also a great family history, 23 years of pictures, give or take a few years. It was very sad not to have to make her a calendar this year.

It was a little dis concerning  to see all of Mom's worldly possessions laid out for us to pick and chose from. I think it made us all aware of our own mortality. We asked ourselves "will our children value anything of ours when we are gone?" While they might help them remember us, they are still just material things and can not take the place of memories of things we did together, learned together and loved together.