Whatever

John started running again. He changed cardiologists because the one he had since his heart attacks was retiring and we had to change insurance plans. His new cardiologist is younger and a runner.  After looking at John's echo cardiogram results he repeated what his original doctor had said. "Because I know you have had two heart attacks and if I look really heard I can see the little bit of damage from your heart attacks. It is remarkable considering the severity of your heart attack." 

But, this is where he differs from the first doctor. He believed that since John's two heart attacks were exercise induced that John should limit his cardiovascular exercise.  Which meant no running. The new doc said he wanted to get his patients back where they were before the attack. And if that was running marathons, so be it. Even though it had been nine years! John was thrilled! Me, not so much.

So now I am resigned and back to worrying every time he goes out on a long run. We were in  Moab for Clay and Leslie's baby Eva's blessing. John woke up at 4:00 am as usual and couldn't go back to sleep so he got up to go run. He woke me up to tell me he was going running and  I drowsily muttered" whatever" and rolled over went back to sleep. I woke later when it was light and realized John wasn't home yet. I got that gut wrenching feeling and tried to figure out what to do. My phone was dead so I couldn't call him. Just as I was getting dressed to go out and find him he came walking in the door very pleased with himself because he ran ten miles, the most he had run since he started training again. In his defense it was further than he thought he was going to run, but he had to find a bathroom and the closest one was 2 miles down the road.

All I could think of was what if the last thing I said to him was "whatever." He could have been dead on the side of the road for all I knew. Admittedly, that is over reacting, but still. Last marathon = heart attack!  We are working through it.