Chris and Meg and family visited Dad on December 31st. I was surprised how tender Ezra,
Travis and Maggie were with dad. I was a little worried the visit would freak them out, but they seemed fine. The expressions on their faces are very indicative of what they were thinking. I think this is the last picture taken of dad. Chris has since said he was glad they took the time to visit. He looked pretty bad. I don't know if I want to remember dad this way and may delete this picture.
Mom and I went to see dad the day before he died. I spoke of part of this visit at the fureral. After we left dad's room, mom stopped to talk to some the the aides and residents. I went back to dad's room to see if he was still asleep. His eyes were open and he held up a hand. I went in and took it. He grasped my hand with a surprisingly firm grip and looked at me. I kissed him and told him that I loved him and he was still my favorite dad. His grip relaxed and his eyes closed so With one last look I went to find mom. As we were walking back to the car we both commented how poignant the visit seemed, but we didn't want to read too much into it.
When Roark called the next night at 10:45, just after I got into bed, I knew he was going to tell me dad had died. My first thought was that dad did it. He finally passed through the veil and was whole again. I felt relief and joy. Mom, Roark and Melanie, Brett and Kerri, Shelley, Ann, John and I gathered around dad's bedside. The aides had shaved him, changed him into a white shirt and smoothed the bed clothes. They told us that as they were getting him ready for bed, he took a rattley breath and died. It was completely unexpected but what we had been praying for. I had to hold his hand one last time, but he clearly wasn't there any longer. We all sat around dad with almost a giddy feeling of thankfulness, at times being maybe a little disrespectful of mom's tender feelings.
The best part about dad's death was that all my children and grand children came for the funeral. Matt and Erin got in the car that weekend and drove straight through from St Louis. This meant so much to me because it has been really hard for Erin to think about driving cross country, but she did it anyway. They spent the first of the week with her sister Seana and came up to stay with us on Thursday. Chris and Meg stayed with Annnie. Both Matt and Chris brought their dogs so often we had 6 grandkids and 5 dogs including Annies's frolicking in our backyard snow. The snow as deep enough to sled down the stairs or ride the sleds over the big rocks to the soft (hopefully) snow below. They even hauled the sleds all the way up the hill behind the house and tried to ride them down, but it was more like pinballing off the trees than sledding. It did my grandma heart good to watch them.
The morning of the visitation everyone but me met Thomas and Monica up Millcreek Canyon for a mountain adventure. Matt and Erin's kids don't have mountains where they live and they wanted to see them. I stayed home to work on my talk. When I saw these fun pictures I kind of wish I had gone with them, but I was stressing over my talk and it came together while everyone was gone. Notice you can see parts of five dogs in this picture.
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