Seventy Times Seven

This past week I had an experience with forgiveness that I also hope will always stay with me.

In the past I have usually associated forgiveness with wrongs done to me. I need to to forgive when some one hurts me, or those I love. To be honest, I have lived such a blessed life that all the hurts done to me have been very minor and easy to forgive and forget.

My mother (she just told me it was my dad's concept, but she was the one that taught us) always taught us that most things that are said or done to hurt us are not done intentionally or maliciously. They maybe be said unthinkingly or because someone has had a bad day, (or is an idiot) but are rarely said to actually hurt or be mean. She told us if we considered the source we wouldn't be hurt. I have tried to live my life giving people the benefit of the doubt and thus don't get my feelings hurt very easily.

However when it comes down to me that needed to be forgiven I don't think I have always been so honest with myself. Our family has been blessed (or cursed) with a good self confidence. We were taught to always know the reason why we acted the way we did, "I don't know" was never a good answer when accounting for our actions. We have accused Thomas with being "blissfully overconfident" because he always thinks he is right, usually is and life hasn't had time to give him a few knocks. My brother Roark is famous for the non apology apology, ie: "I am sorry you don't think I am right, but I still am." So admitting we are wrong and asking for forgiveness does not come naturally

Anyway this past week I said something about someone I shouldn't have; I didn't have all the information to say what I said and made some assumptions that just were not true. I was over heard and my comments spread and got back to the offended party and that person was very hurt to the point of not wanting anything to do with us for a while.

After analyzing what happened I realized it was my comment that started the whole chain of events that ended up in such hurt feelings. I was heart sick, truly overcome with remorse.

We just had had a lesson in Relief Society lesson last Sunday from the Teachings of President George Albert Smith on forgiveness. The the sister taught it from the point of view that if we have unity and charity in our hearts forgiving and asking for forgiveness could come easier for us. As I thought back on that lesson I realized that I wanted the unity and love back we had always felt and I would do anything to make it right.

So I called and begged for forgiveness and hopefully was forgiven. And I realized that asking for forgiveness is just as important as forgiving someone. That the seventy times seven commandment to forgive also applies to asking for forgiveness, no matter what. I did not mean to hurt anyone with a thoughtless comment, but I did and I had to ask for forgiveness to start the healing process.