Grandmama Keaton's Swastika Quilt

Grandpapa and Grandmama Keaton,

My mother-in-law, Martha Mary Luton Lingard's mother Gladys Urso Keaton and infant sister died of pneumonia when Martha was 3 years old. She and her brother Earl were raised by their grandmother, Martha Mary (Mattie) Keaton, who, in the best southern tradition, was called Grandmama. I am often reminded, when Martha does or says something that is extremely old fashioned, that she was raised by someone who was born around the time of the Civil War.

Grandmama Keaton was an intelligent, frugal, stoic woman from  Elizabeth City, North Carolina. Her ancestors held land leases from King George that is still farmed by her descendants today. She was almost 60 years old when Martha and her brother Earl came to live with her in the late 1920s.

Around 1940 Grandmama Keaton frugally pieced 80 red, white and blue quilt blocks to make a quilt called The Spirit of St. Louis.  There are 3 different blue fabrics, several shades of muslin and the some of muslin fabric has been sewn together to make pieces big enough for the blocks.  Then the United States entered World War II. Grandmama had two grandsons in a army tank division in Germany. All she could see in the blocks was the red German Swastika, and she couldn't bring herself to finish the quilt.  She put the blocks away and never got them out again,   

Note the red swastika and  the seamed muslin piece on the top left.. 

A few years ago Martha showed me the blocks and asked me what to do with them.  I asked her if I could finish the quilt. I wanted to preserve the wonderful family treasure that Grandmama Keaton began.  Instead of swastikas I see loyalty, love and patriotism. As I stitched, I traced the seamed muslin patches with my finger and hoped to someday meet the woman who so frugally pieced and then put away her quilt blocks.  Her legacy lives on in her granddaughter and most importantly to me, her great grandson John.  

3 Fathers

I have been very fortunate and blessed to have three wonderful fathers in my life.

My dad: Bruce Taylor Neville

This is the dad I remember best, the dad from my adult years. 10 years ago he titled this picture "Getting Old".  My memories of dad from childhood are of vacations to the mountains and beach, teaching me to ski and 4-wheel drive and our informative and stimulating dinner conversations. The best advice he ever gave me was "You are responsible for your own happiness. Your parents, husband or children can"t make you happy, only you can."

My father-in-law: David Dunford Lingard

As a doctor's daughter, I was raised having the latest medical advice and treatment always available.  Dad Lingard believed in a little more natural approach. He was going to the chiropractor, juicing fresh fruits and vegetables and taking vitamins, garlic supplements and fish oil before anyone even knew about vitamin E and antioxidants. He gave us a subscription to "Prevention" magazine as a wedding present.  I was appalled.  In the end we agreed to disagree when talking about medical care. He died in 1997 when his heart finally gave out. I  imagine how he would smile if he could see that he was right all along.  He would be thrilled that I make juice smoothies in my Vita-Mix every day.  He is greatly missed.

The father of my children:  John Luton Lingard

                                                  

Some of my best memories of John as a father are watching him do things with our children. He spent hours in the surf at Padre Island teaching the boys how to boogie board. We went backpacking down the Grand Canyon, in southern Utah and Glacier National Park. He has run miles and miles with them.  We have rafted down rivers in Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, Colorado and Oregon. John is now doing things with a second generation, his grandchildren. How lucky they are.

The Queen of No

This probably won't surprise any of my biological children or those I have been to girls camp with but last week when I was visiting Matt and Erin in St. Louis he told me that as a mom I was the "Queen of No."

The Queen of No in the making. Chris is 2 weeks old and Matt is 18 months old

There are as many different parenting styles as there are parents and as Matt so bluntly put it saying no was  my parenting style.  Part of this was due to budget restraints and part due to my basic child rearing instincts. I didn't start out by crowning myself Queen. But was saying no such a bad thing?  I think not.  Here are my top ten parenting nos in no particular order.

Queen of No's Top Ten Parenting Nos.

1. No hitting, biting, name calling or hair pulling. Chris tried to get around this one by just holding Annie's hair until she turned her head.  He claimed she pulled her own hair. Unfortunately this means I raised three boys who can't hold their own in a bar fight, it's a good thing they don't go to bars.
2. No bad mouthing anyone: mom, dad, or each other. "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all."  Thumper's mom was right.
3. No whining. Or "you can be happy out here with the family, or you can cry, whine, or throw a temper tantrum in your room." Or "everybody look at Thomas and smile." 
4. No coddling at dinner time. If you don't like it, there's always peanut butter. To this day, none of my kids like peanut butter.
5. No junk food or fast food. We didn't have chips, candy and soda (believe it or not, John and I didn't start drinking a lot of Coke until the kids were older) around the house. Thomas didn't go to McDonalds until he was invited to a birthday party when he was 5.)
6. No potty humor. Why do boys age 3 - 99 think this is funny? Chris just put a fart app on John's iphone.
7. No TV. Twice while the kids were growing up our TV broke and we didn't fix it for a while. When Chris and Matt were in junior high, they were the only kids in school who didn't know who Homer Simpson was.
8. No maid service. The kids had jobs to do around the house. Dishes, bathrooms, dusting, vacuuming. They didn't get paid to do these jobs, it was just part of being in the family. Our home wasn't spotless, but no one ever called to board of health. I tried, but did not spend a lot of effort making them keep their rooms clean. I figured my room was not always clean, why should theirs be?
9. No slacking in school. The kids were expected to do their best in school. A's were nice but weren't required if they tried hard, but we knew and they knew they could do better than C's and D's. 
10. No rescuing. The children had to learn their choices had consequences. As John put it,we live by "The Law of Unintended Consequences." 

I might be biased, but so far I think my children have turned out pretty well, nos and all.  So you may call me QueeneJeanne.

Live Long and Prosper

As Matt and Erin's family and I were driving from Nauvoo to Iowa for Mark and Bethany's reception we passed the Starship Enterprise! Even though it was pouring rain we had to stop. Turns out we were only six miles from the future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk.  We didn't have time to make a pilgrimage to Riverside but we did take pictures.

Grandma Time

 

Ian and Lily



I went to St Louis last week to see Matt and Erin, attend a sealing in the Nauvoo Temple and go Ian's pre-school graduation.  All those things were great, but the real reason I went was to see some of the cutest grandkids in the world!

Stylin Molly at the Zoo



Molly decided she liked Grandma's drink cup! She didn't drink any, honest.



3 New Quilts

"Crazy for Thomas" Quilt

Mom has made "snuggly quilts" for a lot of the grand kids when they went off to college.  Most of them were variations of 8 inch squares.  She had cut out flannel squares for a quilt for Thomas but didn't have time to finish it before the big move.  I asked her if I could finish it when we found out Thomas would be moving to Steamboat Springs.  It gets really cold and snowy there and I thought he needed a "snuggly quilt" to stay warm.  I wanted to try something new with squares and found a pattern where you sewed 20 squares together into a 4 x 5 rectangles and then re-cut and re-sewed the rectangle back together into a "crazy" style rectangle. I then sewed 4 "crazy" rectangles to make the quilt.  I like it way it turned out, especially for a guy quilt.

Mark's quilt

Clay's quilt

I also ended making wedding quilts for two of John's nephews and their brides (with Annie and Rachel's help, thank heavens.) Mark (Paul's son) is getting married this week in the Nauvoo Temple.  (Hooray, I leave tomorrow to visit Matt and Erin and kids in St. Louis and then go to the sealing in Nauvoo.)  Clay (Eric's son) is getting married the end of this month. 

It isn't easy choosing fabrics for two quilts at the same time, but I love them both.  I love working with pretty fabrics. We tied the quilts on Saturday at Marianne's home. Mark's quilt is a funky bold quilt with pink and red roses on a brown background, light blue and red border, and then a red polka-dot.  I had Clay's fiancee choose her quilt since she was there to tie the quilts and she chose the classic red, white and black quilt because she "didn't like roses". . .  I hope Mark and his fiancee do.  But what do kids in their early twenties know? 

Leaving the Nest?????

When I first saw this bird's nest it was laying outside of our mechanic's office.  We took mom and dad's Trooper to have some work done before we sold it ($1400 thanks to KSL.com.) The nest was under the hood nestled around and between car parts so tight that the mechanic had to take it out in three or four pieces.

That poor bird mom, thinking she had found a safe place for her eggs, no one had driven the Trooper for weeks, and the next thing she knew her eggs were driving off without her. 

There are quite a few analogies I can think of about that bird's nest and moving mom and dad out of their home, but I don't think I will. You can make your own.