"I Didn't Know That"

My maternal grandmother, Eva Willey Hill Trump, is the daughter of polygamists. Her mother, Ann Elizabeth Cowley Willey was the second wife of David Orson Willey.
We were talking about polygamy at a family dinner the other day and my mother brought up the point that her mother never had anything bad to say about polygamy.  My grandmother remembers every time her father came home was like a wonderful family home evening. He would come home and say to her mother "Annie, I have a new word for you." And they would learn the new word.
On the other had, my grandmother's sister, Antoinette Willey, hated being the daughter of polygamists. She always felt like an illegitimate child. Auntie, as we called her, never married. She didn't like men very much. Their father's other wife had 11 children and I have no idea how much time he spent with their family.

When Annie and Thomas figured out that their grandmother (my mother) was the granddaughter of polygamists they were somewhat surprised. Thomas said "I didn't know that polygamy was so recent in our family history."

 I don't understand polygamy and have very mixed feelings about it. My sister Shelley works at the Church History Library and has asked the church historians why polygamy was started. The answer is always "we don't know." I do know that I am here because of polygamy. My family is one good thing that happened because of it.

Just Happy to Be Here

I spent General Conference week in Mexico with Jayne and Dave at their beach house in Rocky Point. I also went with mom and dad. In a way it was an experiment to see how well mom and dad travel with dad's dementia and mom's chronic fatigue and pain.

Mom did about how I expected; she was tired and hurting but enjoyed the company, attention and meals that we cooked for her. It was dad I was interested in watching. We wondered if his dementia would get worse with the confusion of traveling.

Mom and dad on the beach

I caught of glimpse of my old dad one afternoon as he and mom watched a flock of pelicans on the Sea of Cortez. "Oh my word," he said with a delighted laugh as he watched the pelicans diving for fish. I have heard him say that countless times in the past when he saw something that amazed or surprised him.

Mom and dad in the 70s

Dad loves being around family, his face lights up when ever he sees any of his children and grandchildren. And especially the greats (great grandchildren.)  Alison and Brandon and their little boy Russell come down from Tucson for the last half of the week. While they were there Russell learned how to walk. We all looked on with familial pride as he toddled from one piece of furniture to another. I looked over at dad as he was watching Russell and asked him if he was glad came, he looked at me as if it was a silly question and said "Of course I am."

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Jayne, Dave, Alison and Brandon with baby Russell

Dad still had (and has) times he didn't know what to do and wasn't sure where he was, but I look at him and he is still my dad. I see frustration in his eyes as he chokes on something or tries to remember something or what to do.  His dementia has taken away his medicine, his brilliance and many memories, but he is a kind gentle soul, mostly happy with where he is at.

I hope as I age I can learn from my dad, not notice anything but the good and say, "I'm just happy to be here."

Mother Nature is Still in Charge

The first cold front of fall has come; Indian summer is all that is left of warm weather. The cricket’s song is slowing down, and I put on socks to warm my cold feet. Another growing season has come to an end.

It started out slow with a wet cold spring and a record snowmelt that lasted well into June. The creek in front of our house flowed as high as I have ever seen it.

Because summer was so long in coming, my flower and vegetable garden had a slow start with mainly successes and a few failures. I have learned garden failures are nothing personal, just Mother Nature telling me she is still in control.

Successes:
1. Spinach in March. The spinach I planted in the greenhouse last fall wintered over provided us with an early spring crop.

2. Flowers form seed. I started most of my self watering planter plants including avalanche petunias and a large leaf begonia from seed. I figure I saved at least $30 a pot growing my own plants and I have 7 pots. The math speaks for its self, especially if I don't factor in the initial cost of the greenhouse, grow lights and potting supplies.

3. Perennials. I love perennials. They come back every year, with more than enough to share. The front perennial bed was as pretty as it has ever been.

4. Fuchsia. I was able to keep fuchsia alive on my front porch for most of the summer. I didn’t think that was possible because they are a cool weather plant. The flowers look almost fake to me because they are so vibrant and exotic looking.

Failures:

1. Deer. They ate beans, beets, tomatoes, pumpkins, peppers, zuchinni, tulips, petunias and geraniums. Note to self, don’t suspend a hanging planter where a deer can just walk up and munch on the petunia and geranium buds. It must be like candy to them. Luckily, I have enough to share. Barely.
2. Tomatoes from seed. I also planted heirloom tomatoes from seed. They started out great, but didn’t do too well later on. I don’t know if it was the variety I chose, the late summer, or just a bad season. On the other hand my cherry and grape tomatoes did great, climbing up the wall outside our bedroom window.
3. Cucumbers and peppers. I don't think I am getting enough sun for these veggies. And I think I am one of the few people in the gardening world who cannot grow zuchinni. But on the bright side, I usually get all the cukes and zuchinni I need by mentioning my lack of them to other gardening friends.

It is time to put the garden to bed for the winter. I am anxious for the cold winds of winter. And all ready I am thinking about next year's garden. Who knows, maybe I will figure out how to grow zuchinni.

Just Be Nice

I was talking to Megan, my daughter-in-law last weekend about the post 9/11 world.  We discussed how after the bombing of the Twin Towers our nation seemed to return to our spiritual roots, but as time passed we, as a nation, are actually less spiritual now than we were before the terrorists attack.

I sometimes wonder that we, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, are any better than the rest of the nation.  We mean well, we try to do everything we are asked to do, but sometimes we, like the rest of the nation are falling short. Megan is the Young Women president in her ward in Cortez, Colorado. She has a counselor who in Megan’s words is “mean” to the girls. The counselor would feel inspired that she needed to tells the girls what they are doing wrong and would do so in no uncertain words. Megan told her “I just want you to be nice” when dealing with the girls and their parents. The counselor felt that if she was inspired, she could just tell it like it is. Finally, after many hurt feelings, Megan told her counselor that she no longer could work with her if she couldn’t be nice to the girls. The counselor was stunned. She couldn’t understand that even if she felt she was inspired, she could also be nice.

I read President Monson’s Washington Post blog on the need for spiritual steadfastness after 9/11. He states: “If there is a spiritual lesson to be learned from our experience of that fateful day, it may be that we owe to God the same faithfulness that He gives to us.” http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/guest-voices/post/911-destruction-allowed-us-to-spiritually-rebuild/2011/09/08/gIQAbkjKCK_blog.html.

We are taught to “turn the other cheek,” and do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”  We need to remember that even though we believe we belong to the true church, that doesn’t give us license say hurtful things to any one, whether we agree with what they are doing or not. We are not their judge, our Heavenly Father is.  And he wants us to be nice.

Grandkids 24/7

Three of our grandchildren and our daughter-in-law visited us one Sunday afternoon last month. While this seems like a common occurrence to many families, it was a first in ours. Erin, Ian, Lily and Molly came, they ate Sunday dinner, they stayed for a while and left. Even though we have six grandchildren, they all live out of state with their parents. When we see our grandchildren we get to love them from the time they get up, (usually while their parents are still in bed) to good night stories, prayers and kisses.

Every two years we get together with our family. This year Matt and Erin from St. Louis, Missouri,  Thomas from Steamboat Springs, Colorado,  Annie, John and I all met at Chris and Meg's home in Cortez, Colorado. With Erin's degree in Anthropology, we thought she would like to come to the four corners area and see the ancient native American sights before Chris and Meg moved.

Oh, the best laid plans. . . Erin had kidneys stones across the plains into Colorado. She ended up taking Molly and going to her sister's house in Sandy because kidney stones and communal living don't mix.  Megan had another trip come up and wasn't there for the first couple of days. So it was the two dads, Annie, Thomas (and his girl friend Monica) and grandma and grandpa with five grandkids ages 18 months to 6 years. That's a ratio of  better than one adult to one child, but somehow Moms are the glue that holds things together, sot we muddled along the best we could.

To get out of the heat we were going to do some hiking (strolling) with the kids at about 10,000 feet at one of the mountain passes between Cortez and Durango, but when we got to the trail head a thunderhead moved in and the temperature dropped to 57 degrees. Not one us us thought to bring jackets! It was so cold Ian and Travis wouldn't get out of the car!

It's a good thing we had polar fleece blankets in the car!

So we  drove on into Durango and rode the free tram up the mountain.  It gave us some good Grandma and Grandpa time as I tried to make sure the kids didn't get too close to the door. 

It looks like I'm having more fun than the kids.!!!!!

At the top of the mountain with the thunderstorm behind us.

We brought Annie's new raft, to run the Anamas River. It was the highest it has been in years and the kids couldn't run the river so they played at the take out. And in Annie's boat before it got put away.


Because the kids couldn't go on the boat in Durango we promised them we would take them on the Colorado River outside of  Moab on the way home. It was a lot of work for a 20 minute boat ride, but even Maggie got to go!

I still haven't decided if I would rather have my grandchildren live close and drop in on Sunday afternoons or spend time with them 24/7 when we visit them or they visit us.  But I do know I'll take what I can get!

Ann Elizabeth Cowley and Rachel Dunford Lingard Stories

One of the reasons I started writing this blog was to record the small stories that my parents and John's mother have told us about their lives and their parents' lives. Most of these stories have been told over and over again, but when I ask if anyone has written them down, the answer is "Probably not." These stories are not heroic or earth shattering, but just give me a glimpse into the past.

I had Sunday dinner yesterday with Mom and Dad at Shelley and Ann's home.  Mom told a story about her grandmother Ann Elizabeth Cowley Willey. Ann Elizabeth's brother was Matthias Cowley, the apostle who had his priesthood suspended and resigned from the Quorum of the Twelve because he continued to perform polygamous marriages after the Manifesto. (His priesthood was restored 4 years before he died.) He was also the father of the apostle Matthew Cowley.  Mom's mother, Eva Willey Hill Trump (Grandma Trump), referred to Mattias as Uncle Matt.

Ann Elizabeth had an infection (maybe staff) in her knee that resulted in her using crutches.  She asked Matthias to give her a blessing. He did so.  Later he asked Ann Elizabeth to get him a drink of water.  She turned to get her crutches so she could stand up and get the water.  Matthias said, "No, you don't need your crutches."  And she didn't, she got up and got the water unaided.  Again, a small story, but kind of neat.

John's grandmother, Rachel Dunford Lingard, died of a heart attack when she was 58 years old, I think while Dad Lingard was on his mission. Her family put a quaking aspen etched on her headstone because, like the leaves on an quaking aspen tree, Grandmother Rachel was never still.  She was always doing something. Dad Lingard was that way and so is John. He told me the other day that he finally understood the significance of the aspen tree on his grandmother's headstone. He is happiest when he is doing something. I could have told him that.

Frozen Lime Chiffon Pie: Oh My Goodness, Was it Delicious

Matt and Erin gave me a new cookbook called The Pie and Pastry Bible by Rose Levy Beranbaum.  She has also written The Bread Bible which they swear has the best bread recipes they have tried.  Coming from them, that is quite an endorsement. 

I wanted to make a cool summer dessert this weekend, but I had homemade icecream last night and I had just made our favorite Oreo Lime Dessert. I wanted something new, so I tried Frozen Lime Chiffon Pie from the new cookbook.  Oh my goodness, was it delicious.  It was tart, light and cool. Definitely a keeper recipe. Because the recipe was requested by all who ate the pie, I am including it here.  Since I don't usually blog about food, it didn't even occur to me to take a picture, but trust me, it looked as good as it tasted.

Rose's recipes are usually quite involved, but in reality are not that difficult.  You just have to plan ahead when using them. I made the crust and the custard the night before and assembled the pie the morning I served it, though it can be made ahead and frozen for up to three months.

Graham Cracker Nut Crust
8 1/2 double graham crackers--crushed to equal 1 cup crumbs
1/2 cup toasted pecans
3 tablespoons sugar
4 tablespoons melted, unsalted butter
  Process graham crackers, pecans and sugar in food process until crackers become fine crumbs, about 20 seconds. Add the melted butter and pulse about 10 times, just until incorporated. Press into the bottom and up the sides of a 9 inch pie. To keep the crumbs from sticking to your fingers, place a piece of plastic wrap over the crumbs and press through the wrap. Chill.

Lime Chiffon Filling
2 large eggs-separated
1/3 cup sugar--divided
pinch of salt
2 teaspoons finely grated lime zest
3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice
2/3 cups cream
1/2 teaspoon cream of tarter
  Have a fine mesh strainer suspended over a medium bowl ready near the range. In a double boiler suspended over boiling water (the bottom of the upper container should not touch the water), stir together the yolks, 3 tablespoons of the sugar, salt, lime zest and juice until blended. Heat the mixture, stirring constantly, to just below the boiling point (170-180 degrees F). Steam will begin to appear and the mixture will be slightly thicker than heavy cream. It will leave a well defined track when a finger is run across the back of a spoon dipped in the mixture. Remove from the heat and pour into the strainer, scraping the thickened custard from the bottom of the pan. Cover top of custard with plastic wrap and chill until cold.
 Beat the cream just until soft peaks form. Using a large whisk or rubber spatula, fold the whipped cream into the chilled custard. Beat the egg whites in a medium bowl until foamy. Add the cream of tarter, raise the speed to medium and beat until soft peaks form. Continue beating, while adding about 1 tablespoon of the remaining sugar. Raise the speed to high, beat in the remaining sugar and continue to beat until stiff peaks form. Using a rubber spatula, fold the beaten egg whites into the lime and cream custard in two parts, making sure all the custard from the bottom is Incorporated and is uniform in color.
  Pour the mixture into the chilled graham cracker crust, smoothing the surface to make even, Freeze for at least six hours. Cover tightly with plastic wrap after the surface is frozen solid, about 1 hour. Transfer the pie plate from the freezer to the refrigerator 1-2 hours before serving. It should still be partially frozen when served. Serve with whipped cream if desired.