Spring with John

John has been building a pergola on our back deck. The old Trek decking  failed due to a manufacture's error and needs to be replaced. Trek will pay for the new decking, but will not pay for the cost of installing it, (mumble, grumble) so John is doing it and of course needs to make it bigger and better, thus the new pergola. We greatly appreciated Thomas's engineering experience, youth and strength. I always worry when John does something big like this since his last heart attack occurred while putting in our sprinkling system, but I can't stop him. He didn't have a heart attack, but he did give me a scare. I was in the kitchen and happen to look up just as I saw John's ladder (the big tall one seen below) give a lurch sideways, and the last beam Thomas and John were trying to span across the posts fall on his shoulder. I raced outside in my stocking feet and supported John's ladder so he wouldn't fall 15 feet onto the deck supports below, as Thomas flew off his ladder and moved it so he could  lift the beam off of John's shoulder. Afterwards Thomas said, "Mom, it was a tender mercy that you happened to look outside when you did. Dad was just about ready to fall."



My new camera has this really cool lighting effect. I love this picture of John and Thomas moving the ladder!

John actually did fall of the ladder as he was finishing the pergola, but as he puts it, it was only four feet, so it wasn't bad, just a banged up knee and some bruising. Sigh.

John has been smoking brisket and pork for the Davis High Invitational Track Meet coaches luncheon since Annie and Thomas ran track, about 15 years, 10 of which haven't had anyone in high school. The track meet was this weekend and I have to admit I am getting a little tired of it. John has to stay up all night to keep the fire going and he is exhausted by time we cut and serve the meat. I suggested that maybe this could be the last year. But John said no, he really likes being able to do something for others. He is a lot nicer that I am. He is also able to get the track team a $1000 grant from Allstate because he volunteers his time and that would go away if we quit.

Besides the track meet John really wanted to go kayaking Saturday afternoon. It was the first warm day we have had this spring and we are going to be busy for the next four weekends. Annie also wanted to get her kayak out on the water so we went out to the Great Salt Lake for a paddle. Even though we were both tired from the meet, it was great to get out.



I feel like I look really squatty bodied in the kayak with my life jacket and hat.



Annie in her new kayak, notice she is color coordinated. and not squatty body

When I started writing this I didn't realize it would be all about John, sometimes that's the way it goes. He is such a huge part of my life right now with the kids gone. I still have visions of finding him laying dead of a heart attack in his shop, office, yard or at the bottom of a ladder. But I can't stop him from doing the things he loves, so I just try and do them with him.

There Is No Such Thing as Bad Weather?

Annie has been thinking about buying some kayaks that John found on KSL.com so she could go paddling with us when we take the tandem kayak out. The only problem was that the lady that owned them lived in Mesquite, Nevada. She finally decided to go get them yesterday because she had Monday and Tuesday off. She asked me if I wanted to take the Tahoe and go with her. She had arranged to meet the lady at a lake near St. George and we could paddle and camp over night and come home the next day.

It sounded like fun and off we went, even though the weather forecast had slowly deteriorated over the weekend. But we brought our cold weather paddling gear and were looking forward to a little get a way, optimistically remembering Roark's axiom: "There is no such thing as bad weather only bad gear."

By the time we reached Salt Lake it was pouring and visibility was pretty bad, but it cleared up by Provo. But the temperature began to drop and it started to sleet as we climbed into Beaver. Sigh. By now the forecast was for rain and snow with a high wind warning in central and northern Utah for Tuesday. Annie called and suggested the lady with the kayaks meet us in St George instead of the lake not trusting our gear to be good enough for high winds and freezing temperatures. Good gear doesn't do much good if you are not smart when you use it.

The kayaks were just what Annie was looking for and she was pretty pleased as we started to load them on the Tahoe. I was a little nervous about loading them without John, but it went slick as a whistle. Until started to rain. And then all we could do was laugh. And we used our cold weather paddling gear for something: to help us stay dry and warm while we finished tying down the kayaks.

Shower Quilt and Late Winter Projects



Brett and Kerri's son Cade is getting married in May and we had the bridal shower last weekend at our home. Way back, when mom was doing showers for her nieces and nephews she couldn't bring herself to play shower games so she decided to make tied quilts for the bride and groom. The quilt was then the shower gift from the aunts. I continued the tradition with my own nieces and nephews. Luckily, since I have over 50 nieces and nephews we are coming to the end of the shower quilts.



Cade and Taylor with the Aunts (we miss you Jayne and Stacey)

I  made a Valentine's table runner and table topper in February and am finally getting around to document them. I like how the string pieced hearts turned out against the diagonally quilted white background.

 John made me the beautiful bench the quilts are on for Valentine's day. It made from a 200 year old maple tree that was cut down in North Ogden. The man John got the wood from speculated that Native Americans may have watered and tended to the tree before the settlers came into the valley. It's a nice idea, but we really have no idea how the tree lived for so long.

Have I Done Any Good?

I have been teaching/heading a quilting group in our ward for the last ten years or so. Our numbers were few last night, spring brings sports, school projects, yard work and other activities that justifiably take precedence over quilting. But one of my dear friends who has been with us from the beginning was there.

She brought a darling little Disappearing Nine patch quilt she made for her grandson to show us. I showed the sisters before Christmas how to made a nine patch quilt quilt block, then cut it up and re sew it back together to make a more complicated finished block and quilt without having to measure cut and sew tiny little fabric patches.

She had also made a little shirt out of one of the fabrics in the quilt for her grandson as well and a cute dress and pinafore for his sister that were well made and adorable.

She told me she told her husband how pleased she was that her stitching skills had improved from where they were before our quilt group started. "I went to bed early Sunday night so I could get up early Monday morning and finish my quilt. I was so excited!" She told me. "You have made me so happy with with your teachings and quilting, thank you."

It is not often that what I do comes back to me so generously expressed. It is nice to know that in a small way I have made a difference in someone's life. And a simple thank you is always welcome.

Pictures Worth a Thousand Words

We just spent a joyous whirlwind 36 hour trip to Cortez for Ezra's baptism.



At least I got one serious picture.



I wanted to get a nice family picture, but this is what I ended up with.

 By the time we were done I was laughing so hard I couldn't get mad.



Travis (the character in front)  is the son I always threatened Chris with. Just like him.

I then wanted a sibling picture with Chris, Annie and Thomas. (We missed Matt and family a lot!)

And this is what I ended up with.

Right after the last picture was taken, Chris wrestled Thomas to the floor.

Surely I thought, I could at least get a good picture of Grandma and Grandpa with Ezra

to prove we were actually there.



I had to hug Ezra extra hard to keep him from escaping.

Ezra and Travis's birthdays are 1 week apart. Megan told them that they could open presents

 midway between their birthdays when their cousins, aunts and uncles and both sets of

grandparents were there for the weekend.

We gave the boys river hats to wear when they went out in their new kayak and in Mexico. I also made Travis a super hero cape. Poor Maggie felt a little left out.

I can't imagine a better way to celebrate Ezra's baptism that to worship, laugh and be together as a family.

My joy was full.

In the Deep Dark Winter

Snow on snow. . .

It started snowing when we were in St Louis over Christmas and we haven't seen dirt since. We have 2 1/2 feet of snow in the back yard. It has been a cold and snowy 2 months. Poor Joey has a snow path that is up to her shoulders when she needs to go outside.

I love a good snowy winter: waking up to a new, undisturbed covering of white, watching snow fall on the hillside behind the house, reading by the burning fire, making soup and bread for dinner, and snuggling with John at night.



. . on snow on snow



But this winter has has been long even for us die hard winter fans. Temperatures have plummeted below zero with inversions that have held kept fog, smog, and cold air in the valley and warm air above it in the mountains. We even had an ice storm!  Who knew it could rain in the warm air above the inversion, then freeze when it hit the frigid air below and turn into ice on the roads sidewalks and driveways? People were slipping and sliding everywhere. Annie's car ended up sideways at the foot of her driveway and she had to practically crawl up it to get into her garage.

But it is still beautiful. The view of the creek and my neighbors bridge from my living room after one storm was amazing!  It almost makes the minor disasters of life seem insignificant (headaches, replacing the hot water heater, refrigerator and battery and oil pan on the Honda within two weeks of each other, and more headaches.)



. . .snow on snow. . .

And if I get too tired of winter I read my seed catalogues and order seeds. Or I enjoy the hyacinths than my sister Ann forced for me. They really do feed the soul.



. . .snow on snow on snow.



Just Leave Us in the West Desert

It seems like everyone I talk to who is my age is dealing with aging parents. When a group of us got together we used to talk about our kids, our home improvement projects, our travels, our sex lives, pretty random stuff. Now all we talk about is our aging bodies and our aging parents.

One friend said and I quote: "I have seen more of a naked 90 year old man's private parts that I ever wanted to see." Another told me she changed her toddler's diaper and then turned around and cleaned up her father with tears streaming down her face. When a friend of my mother's was asked what she did when  her aging husband yelled and swore at her( he would have never done this when he was younger), she said she just yelled right back. Just this morning my visiting teacher said that her parents had to move into an assisted living center when her father fell and lay there for 6 hours before someone came. Her  mother wasn't cognizant enough to call 911 or even bring him the phone. 

My dad, who is 82, and John's mom, who will be 88 next month , are central to my part of these conversations. My dad, who was a wonderful, energetic, intelligent, man has melanoma and dementia, probably brought on by a head injury from a bicycle accident 20 years ago. John's mom is a proud, stoic, independent southern woman, whom age is catching up with.

I have seen my mother in law in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of both arms and an oxygen mask over her face tell me that she is "just fine" when  I asked her how she was doing. She was trying to convince us that she could go to her home when she left the hospital instead of to her daughter Rachel's. My dad, when asked last week by the hospice evaluators, didn't know his name and who mom was. Last week when I was fixing him some breakfast he asked me how long I have been helping him. I think he thought I was one of his caregivers, but I wouldn't dream of asking him if he knows who I am. I can't do that to him.  . . or me. I just walk in kiss him on the cheek and say "Hi dad, it's Jeanne, your favorite daughter!" He does laugh though and seems to know it is a joke.

 

Taken in 1988 at Carlos and LaDawn wedding.



I have learned that old age treats every one differently. Some lucky few keep on going into their late 80s hardly slowing down at all. Others like John's dad die drop dead of a heart attack in their early 70s. At times I wonder if they are the fortunate ones. They and their family don't have to go through the slow decline and  endure (and witness) the indignities of old age.

  I was scanning some old negatives into my computer the other day and came across an old picture of John and me with his parents. It was such a pleasant surprise to see an unexpected picture of Dad Lingard. He has been gone 15 years now and it was like seeing an old friend. I actually touched the computer screen in greeting. I feel the same way when I see pictures of my dad come up on my computer screen saver. There are pictures of him when we were growing up, of him skiing, or sailing or fishing, and of him with my children. He has intelligence, light and joy in his eyes and I reach out my hand to the screen in greeting, missing him . 

 



Dad and Annie, camping at Strawberry Reservoir



   As John and I watch our parents age, we, like generations before us, bemoan, "I don't want to get old." He is convinced he will die of an early heart attack like his father. "If I don't" he says, "just leave me out in the west desert and drive away." And I say "just leave us both."